The Bunker Boys Podcast

Jaxson Rivers adjusted the camera, tilting it this way and that way until he and his two other co-hosts, Micheal and Taylor, were perfectly in frame. After hitting the red record button, a soft beep sounded as Jaxson took a seat between his best friends. Then, picking up his mic, he took a deep breath and looked straight into the camera.

“Well hello anarchist! I’m one of your handsome hosts, Jaxson Rivers.” Said Jaxson as he gripped his mic with both hands.

“And I’m your even better-looking host, Taylor Hunt, this handsome Hunk’s husband.” Taylor said as he elbowed Micheal.

“And I am Micheal Hunt, arguably the best-looking host on this show. And you’re listening to, The Bunker Boys Podcast, your favorite informative, yet bat-shit-crazy news podcast. Apple Jax, how’s the war?” Micheal said, turning to his co-host.

Jaxson opened his mouth to respond when a loud bang went off, causing their drinking glasses, and the plywood serving as their table, to rattle.

“Well, it’s still going on, that’s for sure.” Jaxson said, looking directly into the camera.

Hosting a podcast in the middle of a war zone was indeed as bat shit crazy as it sounded. But Bunkers and Bongs hadn’t always been so hectic. There was a time when Bunkers and Bongs were known as ‘The Insomniac Podcast’. Back then, Jaxson, Micheal, and Taylor’s lives were quite normal. Before the war, Jaxson, Micheal, and Taylor recorded their podcast in a proper studio; they had employees and they made money through brand deals, merch sales, and donations from their listeners.

Back then, before the civil war began, The Insomniacs, as they called themselves, had Roth IRAs and other investments, they had partners and an office that they ran their operations out of, and they had their whole lives mapped out.

But then the war started and much like the small town they lived in, all The Bunker Boys’s lives went up in flames.

Before the war, The Bunker Boys were known as The Tree Boys, and their podcast, Bongs N Things, was all about THC, CBD, and LGBT news.

But now, that was no longer the case, six and a half years ago, The Bunker Boys, and everyone around them, chose to write off all those who tried to warn them.

It was 2024 when it all began, anti-LGBTQ legislation was being written and in acted like movies hitting the box office. Every week there was a new law being enacted, and The Hall Monitors, a group of older gay men who had a love of law, started a blog, detailing all that was happening in every state. The Hall Monitors had friends in high places who would inform them of what was happening on the federal level, and The Hall Monitors tried to spread the news; but with very little knowledge about how to work their devices, and even less about how social media worked, The Hall Monitors’ message failed to reached a wide enough audience. The Monitors tried to use popular publications to get the news in the paper, but no one was reading the paper anymore, at least not the local ones that The Monitors had access to.

Eventually, when people finally did realize what was going on, their neighborhoods were already filled with men dressed in cameo uniforms, and the entire country was now under total government control.

For some, the uniformed men weren’t a problem; that is until they widened their scope of targets, going from targeting just LGBT folks, to then targeting people with disabilities, people who held jobs that the government deemed as ‘unimportant’, or just anyone the government saw as a threat. And of course, all the ‘die-hard citizens’, the bigots, and all those who opposed any and everyone who decided to go against the grain, they joined the government, and soon, the entire country was divided into two halves, and all hell broke loose.

But a civil war? The country of Deston, where The Insomniacs used to live, could handle a simple civil war; hell, their country started with a civil war! But this war was far greater than any civil war the world had ever seen before. Both halves of this war didn’t just have bombs, guns, and tanks, they also had concoctions that could raise the dead and powders that if inhaled, would allow the makers of that powder to fully control whoever had ingested it.

All the while, while the citizens of Deston were busy killing one another, The Insomniacs were simply trying to get as far away from the chaos as possible. But when the lockdown came, Jaxson, Micheal, and Taylor got trapped in Deston, and they figured they were going to die there. So, the trio found a bunker, and they hid out. For days, they just sat in the bunker and did their best not to get involved in the fight.

Friends of the boys, who had been forced into the fight, would come by the bunker to check on the trio; they brought snacks and updates about what was happening, and luckily for the boys, before starting the podcast, Taylor and Micheal worked as nurses, so they were able to patch up the soldiers in exchange for protection.

Eventually, Micheal somehow managed to find their old studio amongst the rubble, and through a sheer act of God, all their recording equipment was able to be salvaged, and after convincing the general, of the small army they’d been staying with, to allow them to use the army’s internet, The Insomniac Boys where back online, this time as Bongs and Bunkers.

“Boy, I really wish we would have paid a little more attention to the sales of military-grade weapons to your average, everyday citizen.” Taylor said as he stared directly into the camera.

Micheal shook his head.

“Hindsight is 20/20 my guy. Wishing to change the past isn’t gonna do shit for us now.” Micheal said.

Jaxson chuckled, now it was his turn to shake his head.

“Ahh, ever the Optimus, I’ve always loved that about ya kid.” Jaxson said as he slapped a hand on Micheal’s leg.

Between the three of them, the men were a tornado of fear, hopelessness, and a delusional level of optimism. The Bunker Boys were like a perfect scale, each man talking turns embodying the only three emotions they had; fear, numbness, and a delusional level of optimism. The men never had a conversation about which of them would embody which emotion; they just naturally gravitated towards one of the three every day. Call it fate, God, or something else, but no two men ever gravitated toward the same state of being, so they always remained in perfect harmony. They would simply wake up, assume their roles, and go about their day.

“Do you think this war will….” Jaxson’s statement was cut short by a loud thud against the bunker door.

“Sidney?” The men all said in unison as they looked at one another.

Sidney was the trio’s self-assigned assistant. Since the Bunker Boys were the only ones with internet access, they recorded the podcast on tapes, and Sidney would deliver the tapes to the folks on the front line. At first, the boys tried to discourage Sydney from doing such a dangerous job, but when she explained that this podcast was all that the soldiers had to look forward to, The Bunker Boys realized they couldn’t say no. Of course, Sydney wasn’t out there all alone, she was armed, and traveled with the soldiers, but that didn’t stop the boys from worrying about her.

“Sorry I’m late, we got roped into a fucking prayer circle, and we all know how long those things can last.” She said with a huff.

Plopping down onto one of the buckets the guys used for chairs, Sydney huffed as she leaned against Jaxson.

“People are really digging the pod by the way. This civil war has got everyone fiending for these tapes.” She said, holding up her sac full of food.

The guys weren’t too thrilled about Sydney crossing a literal war zone, just to give out copies of their podcast tapes, but she loved the thrill. But more than just for the thrill, Sydney truly believed that The Insomniac Podcast was more than just ‘a silly little podcast.’ The Insomniac Podcast was so many people’s sunshine in the middle of a fucking storm, and though they couldn’t stop the war, they were keeping the people informed and entertained. And for Sydney, that was worth risking her life.

And so, opening up the sac, she cracked open a soda someone had traded, slipped another tape into the recorder, and sat back and watched as her friends did their thing.

Well… what did you think of The Bunkers Boys? This story was inspired by an episode of the very real Choosen Family Podcast, unfortunately, I can’t remember what episode inspired this. Anyway, if you’ve enjoyed the story, hit that star; and if you know someone who’d like this, send it to them! If this is the frist RBN story that you’ve read, then stick around, and check out some more stories! And when you realize you love it here, cause you will realize you love it here, give the site a follow, so that you never miss an update! You can support RBN by sharing the site and following RBN on social media, and if you’re feeling really generous, you can buy a cup of coffee! A single cup is four dollars, and does wonders for helping out the site! Just CLICK THE BUTTON below, and buy some cups today! Thank you so much for reading this, and I’ll see you again at the end of the next post!

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